As my son Carson heads off to Ole Miss as a freshman in the fall, my dad (aka Outdoor Steve), sent his grandson a letter with 35 of his college and lifelong tips:
35 Things I try to do (not in any particular order)…
1) Call your Mom regularly. It’s something that will make her very happy, even if it’s just to say hello. Sending your Mom a card on her birthday and Mother’s Day will warm her heart.
2) Email or text both your parents – it’s a way of honoring them.
3) I don’t know it all… and when I think I do I find out how little I really do know.
4) When things seem to be really bad, they usually aren’t… just wait a little while, it’ll get better. Trust me. Better yet, trust God.
5) Christians will let you down. It’s a fact of life. Christ won’t. It may seem so at times, but it’ll get better.
6) You’re likely not going to have the desire to find a decent church. Remember that you are the church, it’s not necessarily a building. God is with you at all times. Talk to Him. Develop that as a habit. Prayer doesn’t have to be with eyes closed and hands clasped. Thinking thoughts directed at Him are prayer. Pray often.
7) You will be tempted like you’ve never been tempted before. It takes character, lots of it, to not succumb. You have a very large reservoir of character. Don’t forget it. Tap into it at every turn.
8) Following the leader without asking questions is usually followed by trouble. Be a leader. It’s harder yes, but it’s more rewarding and much less likely to get you into trouble that you have no control over.
9) You will occasionally (sometimes more than occasionally) have to do things you don’t want to do. Just don’t let it become a career.
10) You’ll face many decisions in the coming months, even years. Think through them. Acting without thinking usually ends badly.
11) I’ve found that doing things just for the money has short-term benefits. That’s it. I’ve also found that the contentment is short-lived. If you’re going to do something for a long
period of time, your heart has to be in it. Or you’re going to be miserable. Put yourself on a budget. Continue your good saving habits.
12) Working hard sometimes seems futile. Be persistent in your hard work. It does pay off in the long haul.
13) Don’t cut corners or take short cuts in your work or in your studies. Don’t just do that which is easy. Do that which is hard. It does eventually get noticed and does produce results.
14) Sitting near the front in class is likely to help you pay attention. Sitting in the back has the opposite effect. Sit wisely.
15) Read, read, read. New stuff. Old stuff. All kinds of stuff. The more you read, the better prepared you’ll be, the better you’ll be able to communicate, the better you’ll do in school (and in life).
16) Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. I’ve learned that I learn best from my mistakes. This can be painful but usually only in the short term. No pain, no gain.
17) Alcohol can kill you. Either quickly (binge drinking) or slowly (alcoholism). Moderation is key.
18) You come from a conservative family. Your values are largely conservative. Those values will be under attack at school, by your professors, by fellow students. Think with an open mind but not so open that your brain falls out. Liberalism can be trouble. It’s good to hear the opposing perspective. It’s better to read those who can defend the conservative perspective. They’re out there but you have to look for them. Have liberal friends however. They keep you sharp.
19) When things aren’t going well in a relationship, ask yourself if you’re really listening to the other person. I’m a lousy listener… not just hearing someone but listening… Hearing has to do with noise, listening has to do with understanding. A good listener is one who actually hears what is being said.
20) Words are killers. Choose them wisely. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can’t get it back in. Think before speaking. I tend to speak before thinking. And it’s hurt people, it’s hurt me. That’s trouble.
21) Older people aren’t anywhere near as stupid as younger people make them out to be. Unfortunately, you’re usually an older person before you figure that out. Figure it out
now. And seek wisdom from older people. Experience is the best teacher. Yes, that’s a cliché, but it’s a good one.
22) Life’s too short to stay mad at family and friends. You never know when your words to someone may be the last one’s you have with them. That terrifies me sometimes. And it should.
23) Breaking problems down into easily handled pieces best solves them. How do you eat an elephant? Piece by piece. Don’t be intimidated by the magnitude. Think through the problem, break it down, plan an action and implement the plan. And remember number 16.
24) Eat right. Lots of fruit and vegetables. Avoid what happens to many college kids who gain weight big-time their first and second years away from home.
25) You exercise regularly. Continue to make exercise a way of life and it will be with you for a lifetime.
26) Sometimes, the best thing to do or say in a situation, is absolutely nothing. I continue to have problems with this, yet I do believe it’s true.
27) Experience is enhanced when that experience is shared with someone you care about. Whether it’s a sunset, a hike, a paddle, or a good movie.
28) Budget your time. Prioritize where it’s spent. Time can be spent faster than money can. And it can be wasted just as much as money can. And in my view, time is more precious than money.
29) Over-tip breakfast waitresses
30) Look people in the eyes
31) When facing a difficult task act as though it is impossible to fail
32) Never pass a child’s lemonade stand without stopping to invest in their future.
33) Know when it is time to leave a gathering or party.
34) Never say, “I wish I had …”
35) Remember, your Nana and Papa love you.
Thank you for letting me share the advice my dad gave to me 30 years ago and the updated version he gave my son today. Comments are welcome below, and if you have any questions, please email Shaun Priest at shaun@closerq.com.
35 Things I try to do (not in any particular order)…
1) Call your Mom regularly. It’s something that will make her very happy, even if it’s just to say hello. Sending your Mom a card on her birthday and Mother’s Day will warm her heart.
2) Email or text both your parents – it’s a way of honoring them.
3) I don’t know it all… and when I think I do I find out how little I really do know.
4) When things seem to be really bad, they usually aren’t… just wait a little while, it’ll get better. Trust me. Better yet, trust God.
5) Christians will let you down. It’s a fact of life. Christ won’t. It may seem so at times, but it’ll get better.
6) You’re likely not going to have the desire to find a decent church. Remember that you are the church, it’s not necessarily a building. God is with you at all times. Talk to Him. Develop that as a habit. Prayer doesn’t have to be with eyes closed and hands clasped. Thinking thoughts directed at Him are prayer. Pray often.
7) You will be tempted like you’ve never been tempted before. It takes character, lots of it, to not succumb. You have a very large reservoir of character. Don’t forget it. Tap into it at every turn.
8) Following the leader without asking questions is usually followed by trouble. Be a leader. It’s harder yes, but it’s more rewarding and much less likely to get you into trouble that you have no control over.
9) You will occasionally (sometimes more than occasionally) have to do things you don’t want to do. Just don’t let it become a career.
10) You’ll face many decisions in the coming months, even years. Think through them. Acting without thinking usually ends badly.
11) I’ve found that doing things just for the money has short-term benefits. That’s it. I’ve also found that the contentment is short-lived. If you’re going to do something for a long
period of time, your heart has to be in it. Or you’re going to be miserable. Put yourself on a budget. Continue your good saving habits.
12) Working hard sometimes seems futile. Be persistent in your hard work. It does pay off in the long haul.
13) Don’t cut corners or take short cuts in your work or in your studies. Don’t just do that which is easy. Do that which is hard. It does eventually get noticed and does produce results.
14) Sitting near the front in class is likely to help you pay attention. Sitting in the back has the opposite effect. Sit wisely.
15) Read, read, read. New stuff. Old stuff. All kinds of stuff. The more you read, the better prepared you’ll be, the better you’ll be able to communicate, the better you’ll do in school (and in life).
16) Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. I’ve learned that I learn best from my mistakes. This can be painful but usually only in the short term. No pain, no gain.
17) Alcohol can kill you. Either quickly (binge drinking) or slowly (alcoholism). Moderation is key.
18) You come from a conservative family. Your values are largely conservative. Those values will be under attack at school, by your professors, by fellow students. Think with an open mind but not so open that your brain falls out. Liberalism can be trouble. It’s good to hear the opposing perspective. It’s better to read those who can defend the conservative perspective. They’re out there but you have to look for them. Have liberal friends however. They keep you sharp.
19) When things aren’t going well in a relationship, ask yourself if you’re really listening to the other person. I’m a lousy listener… not just hearing someone but listening… Hearing has to do with noise, listening has to do with understanding. A good listener is one who actually hears what is being said.
20) Words are killers. Choose them wisely. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can’t get it back in. Think before speaking. I tend to speak before thinking. And it’s hurt people, it’s hurt me. That’s trouble.
21) Older people aren’t anywhere near as stupid as younger people make them out to be. Unfortunately, you’re usually an older person before you figure that out. Figure it out
now. And seek wisdom from older people. Experience is the best teacher. Yes, that’s a cliché, but it’s a good one.
22) Life’s too short to stay mad at family and friends. You never know when your words to someone may be the last one’s you have with them. That terrifies me sometimes. And it should.
23) Breaking problems down into easily handled pieces best solves them. How do you eat an elephant? Piece by piece. Don’t be intimidated by the magnitude. Think through the problem, break it down, plan an action and implement the plan. And remember number 16.
24) Eat right. Lots of fruit and vegetables. Avoid what happens to many college kids who gain weight big-time their first and second years away from home.
25) You exercise regularly. Continue to make exercise a way of life and it will be with you for a lifetime.
26) Sometimes, the best thing to do or say in a situation, is absolutely nothing. I continue to have problems with this, yet I do believe it’s true.
27) Experience is enhanced when that experience is shared with someone you care about. Whether it’s a sunset, a hike, a paddle, or a good movie.
28) Budget your time. Prioritize where it’s spent. Time can be spent faster than money can. And it can be wasted just as much as money can. And in my view, time is more precious than money.
29) Over-tip breakfast waitresses
30) Look people in the eyes
31) When facing a difficult task act as though it is impossible to fail
32) Never pass a child’s lemonade stand without stopping to invest in their future.
33) Know when it is time to leave a gathering or party.
34) Never say, “I wish I had …”
35) Remember, your Nana and Papa love you.
Thank you for letting me share the advice my dad gave to me 30 years ago and the updated version he gave my son today. Comments are welcome below, and if you have any questions, please email Shaun Priest at shaun@closerq.com.
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