Suzanne Parks - Eulogy

This week,  I was giving the honor to eulogize my mother-in-law, an amazing and very special person, by reading my wife's letter about her mother.  While giving the eulogy at her funeral, I was so taken with emotion that my brother-in-law, Mark Schappaugh, stepped up to the podium and completed Christine's letter for me.  Suzanne was so special to me that I wanted to share her eulogy on-line:

Suzanne Stark Parks

August 3^rd, 1945 – May 30^th, 2012

Keith, Kim, and Christine would like to thank all for you for attending today’s service for Suzanne.  I am Shaun Priest, Suzanne’s son-in-law, Christine’s husband, and I am going to read a letter from Christine about her Mommy.  Before reading the letter from Christine on her mommy, I personally want to share two quotes that remind me of Suzanne.

The first is from the Bible, Timothy 4:7 stating, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” This is a fantastic quote for Suzanne as, she has fought the good fight, kept the faith, she has finished the race and is now in heaven with Jesus.

To second quote is from Abraham Lincoln, who said, “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”  What is obvious as family and friends have been telling stories celebrating Suzanne life, is that Suzanne has a lot life in her short 66 years here on earth.

Now for the letter from Christine on her Mommy:

Everyone who has known my mother or crossed paths with her knows that she would talk to anyone.  She loves people.  She loves to laugh. She loves to tell stories.  Most of all, she loved parties, both hosting and attending.  I remember how excited she would get planning on what to wear to a party.  One of my most recent memories was her and my dad going as Mr. & Mrs. Buncoween.  She would also be in charge a lot of times to do the table settings at parties.  She would always come over to my house and discuss what she could do.  She loved it.

My Mom is a beautiful writer with the most beautiful penmanship.    All that knew her looked forward to her “War and Peace” emails, that is what she would call them, detailing her and my father’s trips across the world.  It took her a long time to write those emails, but I know that she loved to do it.  Every Christmas she would always write a beautiful Christmas letter detailing all of the wonderful things they have done throughout the year.  I always looked forward to them.

My mom loved to send cards.  She was a regular customer at the Hallmark store.  She would send cards to everyone.  She would never miss a birthday or holiday.

My mom loved to shop.  I don’t think she ever came to my house empty handed.  Over the last few years she would come over to my home weekly with her little red bag full of AVON products for my daughter Madison.   Whoever is her AVON lady she will probably go out of business now.

My mom loved to go to garage sales.  I have been to many garage sales with her, however my sister mostly shared her passion for hunting for treasures at yard sales.  For those of you who have not been to my home, I love Black and White.  She would always call me from her cell saying that “I am at a garage sale and they have something black or white that you might want for your house”.  I love that she is always thinking about me.

My mom loved to go to Church Bake Sales.  She knows that my family loves sweets.  She would literally buy several whole cakes, pies, cookies, brownies and anything else and bring them over to my house.    It would always be on a Saturday morning and she would come over with her sweets.  My two kids, Madison and Carson would always run downstairs to consume her goodies……. And of course Shaun too.

My mom knew how to do holidays:  Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas were her specialties.  Her motto was always “more is more”.   My mom would make it look perfect!  Her table settings were always breathtaking!    Christmas is her absolute favorite.  My mother would have two Christmas trees in her home.  She had a real tree in her family room that is full of ornaments she had collected with my dad for 47 years.  Then she had a white artificial tree in her living room decorated in all pink ornaments, this was her favorite tree.  On Christmas morning we would have hundreds of presents to open.  I know that my dad thought she gave us too many presents, but from a kids perspective it was AWESOME!  I know that was one of her ways of showing her love.  My dad was just as guilty when it came to presents, but he focuses on one AMAZING gift.  Every Christmas he would hide my mom’s gift somewhere in their house and write clues for her to go find the gift.  It was always something she looked forward to doing because it was fun and she knew there was something great at the end. In the early years it was a piece of furniture, a rare snow baby, and over the last several years the gifts have been vacation trips around the world.  Christmas was 100% my mom and my heart is aching when I think about future Christmas’ without her.

My mom loved to collect.  From my early memories it started with shoes, then it progressed to jewelry, then she got into Snow babies figurines, Fenton glass, baskets, teacups, and Christmas villages from Department 56.  She has three china cabinets full of Snow Babies, she loves those figurines.  I always remember my dad surprising her at Christmas, her birthday, anniversary or mother’s day with a new figurine.  I know he always enjoyed seeing her reaction after getting one that was rare, “Dad, do you remember Frosty Frolic?”.  She always told my sister and I that they would be ours someday, and that day has come too soon.

My mom loved to cook.  She would joke that when she married my dad, she did not know how to boil and egg.  Wow, she learned fast and excelled in cooking.  We grew up having Sunday Fried Chicken dinners.  It was my dad’s favorite.  Every Sunday it was always the same menu, which we loved, Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes and Corn niblets.  I have such early memories of when I was 3 or 4 years old living in my parent’s apartment in Kalamazoo, Michigan eating Sunday dinners in our kitchen at our oval linoleum table.  It was wonderful!

My mom loved to travel.  She loved looking forward to the trips, the trips themselves, then the emails describing her trips, and then starting the process all over again with another trip.  She loved seeing new places and meeting new people.  My mom and dad, loved to talk about the next trip and where each of them wanted to go.  She also knew that my dad always had a surprise trip planned right after they returned from their current vacation. I know that my dad was equally excited to see the world.

My mom has a lot of friends.  I had the pleasure to go to several newcomer events and met a lot of my mom’s friends.    One of my favorite events was the fashion show at Belk’s.  I got to see her strut down the runway.  I know she was nervous, but she did great! 

She loved to play Bunco, Mexican train, mahjong, canasta and many other card games with her friends.   She even taught my sister and I and her grandkids how to play Mexican train.  Mom was really good at it, but her granddaughter Sarah seemed to win almost all of the time.  Mommy, I will miss playing Mexican train with you!

My mom loved her friends, her friends made her smile and laugh every day.  She has so many friends, those from Michigan, Macon, and Marietta.  Those she met on her many cruises.  Those she met at her clubs Cheatem Hill; NewComers and Fan Clubs.  She loved all of her friends, very much! 

My mom loved her family.  Growing up my mom made it no secret that my sister and I were her number one priority.  My mom grew up as an only child and I know she always longed for a sibling.   She always called herself “Christine & Kim’s taxi driver”.  She was always at all of our school and sporting events.   I know that she felt comfort that my sister and I would always have each other to depend on when she would not be around.  I Love You, Kim

My mom’s most pride and joy are her grandkid, Nicholas, Madison, Sarah and Carson.  All four you are so fortunate to have such a wonderful grandmother that loved you more than life.  You were everything to her and just know that she will always be looking over you in life.  It was always very important to her that her grandchildren will have wonderful fond memories of her.

My mom loved her son-in-laws, Shaun and Mark.  She most definitely treated them as if they were her own sons.  I know that when my sister and I got married, my mom and dad appreciated having some male companionship around.  My mom and dad could not have pick two better men for us to spend the rest of our lives with.  They are the rocks in our family right now and I know that both of them are hurting desperately because I know they considered her their mom too.  Thank you Shaun and Mark for being such great son-in-laws for my mom, she loved you so much!

My mom loved her home.  I remember being in 11^th grade living in Macon, GA.  My dad got a promotion to move to the Atlanta area and I was so upset to relocate to a different city for my senior year in high school.  At the time it was difficult, but once we moved, I realized it was a great decision.   My parents decided to build a home in Marietta.  My mom always dreamed of building a home to exactly the way she wanted.   I remember how excited she got going to the showrooms picking out cabinets and other details on her home.  It was her dream home and to this day, her house is 100% all hers.  It is warm, homey and it is filled with all of her keepsakes and treasures.  Her house is a warm big hug and will always remind me of her.

My mom loved my dad.  Daddy, you made mommy very happy and she loved you very much!  You gave her 47 years of marriage full of so many wondering things and experiences.  Mom had gone through a lot of difficult things in her life and you were always there for her.  Mom had told me many times you make her happy.  I know you are hurting terribly right now, but just know that she did love you and you made her ‘Profoundly Happy’

My mom and I spoke almost every day and we saw each other every week.  Every time I saw her I would tell her that I love her and she would quickly respond “I Love You More”.  My heart is full of sadness right now that I won’t get to talk to her anymore.  There is comfort knowing that she is ine Heaven and now Eternally and “Profoundly Happy”.

Mommy I miss you so much and I need you.  You are the best mother any daughter could ask for and I love you so much!  I appreciate everything you have done for me and taught me.  I hope to carry on and teach all of the wonderful things you have taught me to my children, Madison and Carson.  I hurt so much right now, it is unbearable.  I do not fear death because I know you will be waiting for me in the kingdom of heaven.  I know you are bringing a bunch of laughs and smiles up there right now.  I know you are at the Pearly Gates with the Porch Light On and that you are already the President of the NewComers Club in Heaven.   I can’t wait to see you again.

MOMMY I LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST!

Love, Your baby,  Christine

Keith, Kim, and Christine, would like to invite anyone up come up to say a prayer, read a poem, or simply share a story about Suzanne.

First Thanksgiving Without Suzanne

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

Below are notes for saying grace during our first Thanksgiving without Suzanne:

"Suzanne is an impossible act to follow for saying Thanksgiving Grace.

What is funny is that it felt like you had to beg Suzanne to say grace, and then she would pull out her notes.   So here are my notes.  I am going to do my best to follow the Suzanne format.

A little Thanksgiving History:

The event that commonly called the "First Thanksgiving" was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts. The first Thanksgiving feast lasted three days, and was attended by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.

Thanksgiving Day has officially been an annual tradition since 1863, when, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens", to be celebrated on Thursday.

Suzanne always thanked our Military:

Today as we families gather around the dinner table with family and friends to share good food, warm laughter, and the happy memories of Thanksgivings past. But for many military families, whose loved ones serve who are overseas, this year's Thanksgiving celebration will not be complete, and we say a Thanksgiving prayer for both our military and their families.

I would like to end with a prayer thanking God for Suzanne, a wife mother, a mother-in-law, a Grandma, and a friend:

Dear God, we thank you for all your blessings. You have given us so much, yet this day also brings a mix of emotions to us, as it is our first Thanksgiving without Suzanne. We confess our thanks to you, but we also have sadness because of the empty place at our table. Even though it is difficult for us to understand, we know that death and sorrow are part of life and living.  We also know that you use difficulties to draw us closer to you and to each another. We thank you for gathering the Parks, the Schappaughs, the Priest families, and our friends today on Thanksgiving.  Please help us heal the empty parts in our hearts as we miss Suzanne.  Dear Lord, Teach us to savor the moments we have with one another, to rightly remember Suzanne, and we do know that she is in heaven with you.  Help us to look forward in hope for all your blessings, for even through trials and losses you always reveal your goodness.

I want to end with a Native American Saying, "Give thanks for unknown blessings are already on their way."  Amen."